A flat-chest-ed woman was delighted when her…
A flat-ches-ted woman was delighted when her fairy-god mother said her Assets would increase in size each time a man says, "Pardon" to her.
She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said, "Pardon me." Her Assets instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic.
The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store, he begged her pardon and another inch was added to her Assets. She was in seventh heaven!
She walked into a Chinese restaurant, collided with a waiter who bowed and said, "A thousand pardons for my clumsy behavior."
The next day, the headline in the local newspaper said, "Chinese Waiter Crushed to Death!"
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A man ordered a washing machine and rejoiced with delivery
The woman decided to divorce her husband and hired a lawyer specialising in divorces. The lawyer asked her: "So, what is the reason for your decision?"
She replied: "We're too compatible."
The lawyer: "Don't you mean 'too incompatible'?
She: No, we're really too compatible. I love going to the cinema, he likes going to the cinema too. I like going to Indian restaurants, he loves Indian food. We both like hiking in the middle of nature. We both like to practise yoga. We both have the same religious and political preferences... but above all, we both love men.
Four friends who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years reunite at a party
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Four friends who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years reunite at a party. After several drinks one of the men had to use the restroom those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied economics and business administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, That’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to light school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet or his birthday.”
The third man said, “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?” One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?”
The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a striper at a nightclub.” The three friends said: “What a shame... what a disappointment.”
The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was three weeks ago, and he receive a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion…a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends!”