An Exceedingly Historical Account of ‘Jumbo,’ LBJ’s Very Large Penis

He pulled it out so often that he pretty much reduced much of his presidency to a literal dick-measuring contest

The 36th President of the United States was a big man. At 6-foot-4, he was physically imposing — he would also stand far too close to people, which only served to amplify his size. His personality was big, too, as he was known for cursing like a sailor, telling dirty jokes and openly talking about — and even sharing — his bodily functions with anyone close by. 

He was certainly big on accomplishment as well, having served as the Senate Majority Leader before becoming JFK’s Vice President and eventual successor. As a president, Johnson had a historically big record — both good and bad — with the most significant civil rights record since Abraham Lincoln and a giant goddamn mess of a war in Vietnam. Oh, and there was one more thing that was big about LBJ — his enormous cock

Having named his penis “Jumbo,” Johnson was known to open up his trousers on a regular basis and wag his dick at others. There are numerous reports of this, from incidents when he seemed to do it as a (bad) joke, to times when he did it to intimidate people. Unfortunately for the historical record, there seems to be no photographic evidence of LBJ’s member, nor do we have any reliable size estimates or vivid descriptions of its appearance (like those of Bill Clinton’s smaller-than-average penis). We can, however, infer quite a bit from all the different stories about Johnson’s hog, which never seems to have been whipped out without a vulgar remark accompanying it. 

And so, along with LBJ quotes to accompany them, here’s everything that we actually do know about President Johnson’s johnson…